My journey back to the military

Met with my recruiter and filled out some paperwork (part of the red tape road towards my ultimate goal).

Next Monday he is picking me up at 4am. Off to MEPS to process. I don't have to retake the ASVAB...thank GOD! That test is a bear. the biggest worry is getting my medical waiver....but I finally see my perseverance paying off....that alone means I am doing the right thing.

I will be taking a language test for Spanish in order to obtain an identifier.

Could mean extra $$$.

I might also earn a bonus with the potential MOS and will be given a Staff Sergeant/E-6 as squad leader....later on down the road I may try for Warrant Officer. Just have to get in right now.

This is the job I am going to apply for if I am able to get back in:

74D (Chemical Specialist)

Major duties. The chemical operations specialist operates, performs operator maintenance or supervises the use of nuclear, biological and chemical detection and decontamination equipment, smoke generators, and assists in the establishment, administration, training and application of NBC defense measures. The nuclear, biological and chemical noncommissioned officer provides training, advice, and supervision regarding the proper use and maintenance procedures for chemical equipment and chemical operations in company and higher level organizations.

(2) Skill Level 2. Operates and performs operator maintenance on smoke generating equipment, leads smoke generating or fuel supply squads, supervises reconnaissance/decontamination operations, serves as company nuclear, biological and chemical noncommissioned officer.

One step at a time and if I get to raise my hand again I know I will have tears in my eyes as I quote the following:

In the National Guard (Army or Air)

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the State of (Missouri) against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the Governor of (Missouri) and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to law and regulations. So help me God.

Growing older "gracefully"

Look to this Day.

For it is Life,

The very Life of Life.

In its brief course lie all the Varieties

And Realities of your Existence:

The Bliss of Growth,

The Glory of Action,

The Splendor of Beauty.

For Yesterday is but a Dream,

And Tomorrow is only a Vision,

But Today well lived

Makes every Yesterday a

Dream of Happiness,

And every

Tomorrow a

Vision of Hope.

Look well therefore to this Day.

Posted by Ronnie Bennett

Website:

http://ronnibennett.typepad.com/weblog/2005/08/growing_old_gra.html

Corpse Bride

LOVE Tim Burton and his movies!!!!!!!!!!

Hiking in the Missouri Woods

One thing I have learned from my experience yesterday is to take a backpack. I was thinking of bringing one but did not.

NOW I know better.

It was fun though. We were out there for maybe 5 hours. Reminds me of my own childhood days spent exploring the woods across from my home in Indiana. Yeah, yeah....I'm a country girl for sure!

After experiencing a few dizzy spells I knew I was getting dehydrated.

I experienced heat exhaustion before in the Army during basic training. Stationed at Ft. Jackson over in Tank Hill (Huuurahhhhh--ok....had to do it)....and fainted from the heat.

I still remember that day. I woke up with my gorgeous drill sergeant's face hovering over me. Somehow he managed to cradle my head in his lap and all the women from my Platoon (D-1-1)hovering over me as well with tears in their eyes. Back then I weighed a mere 100 pounds and did not eat properly. Long story there won't get into it. Well, I felt bad that they experienced it. I was a favorite in the platoon and women are well....they tend to become attached quickly.

THAT heat exhaustion episode was a scary experience due to the fact you have NO control over your body when you pass out.

I felt I was on the brink of passing out on the trail. However, the stoic soldier in me kept trudging through and I marched on so to speak....no pun intended. Managed to pull off maybe 7 ticks. 3 I found at home. I don't get all girlie grossed out...still......I don't like the little critters (can get Lyme Disease) but can handle plucking them off of my body. The largest tick was near the hairline. (I think I will wear a baseball cap next time)...yes....for sure. :^)

Overall it was a fun and exhilarating experience more ways than one (this one view from a bluff overlooking the Missouri River was gorgeous) Took my breath away. I need to bring along my camera next time to capture the tranquil yet majestic essence of the woods....and I know better now to stock up on supplies. The heat was over 92 degrees thus we were losing allot of water through sweat.

Next time I definitely will be hauling along an additional supply of water and granola bars for more energy!!

Looking back

It is human nature to look back on one's accomplishments.....seeing where you came from....so that you know where you are headed.

Scary hmmm?

Yes and no...............

I find it hard to believe some of the events I've gone through in my life...from my stint in the Army, stationed overseas, visiting the Middle East, having a child, college...images, feelings, sensations, moments caught up in what it means to exist.

My existence....no one else can claim these experiences, thoughts, triumphs, defeats----but me.

I own these victories, losses...all of it.

Once I thought myself a victim of circumstance but slowly....slowly I am coming into my own...I think such thoughts develop wisdom....it isn't simply just knowledge but what you gained...what you take with you as you time travel through life.....to where your final destination leads you, me...all of us.

Immortal Beloved

Always a Beethoven fan I am planning to buy this movie:

The film — a biopic — treats the identity of the "Immortal Beloved" (Unsterbliche Geliebte) of composer Ludwig Van Beethoven as a mystery to be solved by his secretary and first biographer, Anton Schindler, a journey of discovery which takes Schindler to all corners of the Austrian Empire to interview the women who have a claim to candidacy. In this, it bears a family resemblance to the 1941 Orson Welles film Citizen Kane.

The core of fact upon which the film's speculations are built is as follows:
After Beethoven's death in 1827, three short letters were found among his private papers addressed to a woman whom he calls "immortal beloved". The letters exist, but there is no consensus among Beethoven scholars as to the true identity of the intended recipient, though the pages of the letters — probably written in the summer of 1812 from the spa town of Teplice — are certainly in Beethoven's handwriting.

Among the most plausible candidates put forward to date are Giulietta Guicciardi, Therese von Brunswick, Antonie Brentano, Johanna van Beethoven, Countess Anna-Marie Erdődy, all but one of whom feature in the film.

The film's writer and director, Bernard Rose, has controversially claimed in an interview that he himself has successfully identified the woman whom Beethoven loved, a task that has eluded researchers for nearly two hundred years. No scholar or writer on Beethoven has so far come forward to endorse Rose's claim, and one, Gail S. Altman, has vociferously disputed it in a book[1] devoted specifically to the question of the woman's identity, and Beethoven's relationships in general.

The Third Letter
Good morning, on July 7Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.ever thineever mineever ours

Websites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immortal_Beloved_(film)

http://home.swipnet.se/~w-15266/cultur/ludwig/beeim.htm

Monday seeing Army recruiter

I may or may not be able to become a commissioned officer.....just depends on my medical eval. (the criteria for becoming an Army officer is stricter than enlisted)...if I cannot become an officer I will remain as a sergeant and work my way up the ranks.

I am meeting with my recruiter on Monday to fill out my security background questionnaire and see what available positions are out there for the chemical unit in St. Peters.

Some people think I am crazy to join now...especially because of the war. Currently my unit-to-be is under-strength and their mission is focused on Missouri. I don't see myself being deployed anywhere anytime soon if I am able to return (God willing).

I just hope that this war doesn't last much longer, as I see it--our soldiers, the Iraqis and our economy cannot handle this state of affairs forever.

I want to join the guard so that I can protect my homeland and to help in time of natural disasters....more in alignment with my beliefs. Of course I know if I have to go I have to...why I signed on the dotted line...but I always always pray for diplomatic solutions to political events...ok....off my soap box.