Dealing with an elderly parent

My dad is 64 and mom is 68. Mom's health is not bad but my dad's....well....leaves a lot to be desired. He is diabetic, insulin dependent and also suffers from heart failure. He was a chronic smoker from the time he was 14 until he HAD to quit at 62. He has had approximately four heart attacks and a minor stroke.

I spoke to mom earlier this morning and she said last night dad fell down and could not get back up so she called his sister. He did not want mom to call 911. Yes, he is that stubborn. Stupid or stubborn who knows. He allows himself to get this sick and then expects free medical care. Sorry buddy, the world does not work that way. If he practiced preventative maintenance and ate like he should FOR a diabetic he would not be getting all these infections. I have had it with this stuff. I already told mom that he needs to have a reality check. She is spending her golden years as his nurse which pisses me off BIG time since he does NOT monitor his health like he should.

My mom has high blood pressure yet she manages it quite well because she is diligent at taking her meds. I applaud her for that. Mom however, does not know how to drive so she has to depend on others to assist her when dad gets sick like this. He is still in the hospital as I write this blog.

They live in the country where taxis are not readily available and there is NO bus system out there. All of us kids have told them time and again to move nearer to us (there are just NO job opportunities in Evansville). But dad already said he plans to die in that house.

I told my daughter that she will NEVER have to worry about her mom because if I get to that point where I need constant care I will MAKE MYSELF go to a VA nursing home. I understand parents do grow old but why do they have to make it so difficult???????

LANDLORDS

EITHER YOU LOVE THEM OR YOU HATE THEM. I understand their role in the rental business but do they have to be so rude? My mom is visiting me and my dad brought their dog. They usually leave Lexy, their Scottish Terrier in her crate while visiting. I feel bad over that but Lexy has this bad habit of just pissing & not giving any sort of warning when she has to go. Maybe she gets confused when she is not in her own territory.

Perhaps my landlord attitude pissed me the hell off because it is my mother's birthday (happy 68th!).....and I do not like anything negative on these special days.

Anyhow, mom went to take Lexy out to go "potty" and the landlord sees her, comes up to my mom and asks if she is a resident of the complex. OF COURSE she has to KNOW that mom is not. My landlord can be such a busy body. Anyway, mom says not and the landlord (with a fake smile): "well your dog is not allowed here." I felt bad for mom because she was ready to just go home that day. Mom is very sensitive to things and I told her just to leave in the morning. I have seen dogs come in and out of the complex all the time so if the landlord says ONE WORD to me I WILL mention this because she has to KNOW that there are people who also bring their mutts in, not just my parents. I have had issues with them before, like not giving notice when they come into the apt., overcharging on the rent. I think a complex built in the 70's does not warrant any kind of rental hike. I am praying for the day I own my own home.

Because she made my mother upset it makes me mad. ARGH!

Just one more thing to motivate me to buy my own home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace

When I feel down, as I do today, I try to think about the positive things that have occurred in my life. I know that I am lucky to have earned a great education, I have a stable job, a loving daughter and wonderful family. I think it is healthy to rant at times....to just get things off our chest so to speak. I wish I had the energy to push forward...maybe not the energy per se, but the gumption, the will to press forward with the strength to find a better paying job...buy a home....not be afraid. Sometimes we can find comfort in the same old song and dance routine.

I for one and tired of eating plain crackers for dinner. I am ready for steak. Meaning, that my life has become far to predictable and I need to find my strength and my peace to move fwd and earn my place in society...to find the strength to remove myself from the familiar in order to seek the rewards in life that need more work.

When we become compliant to the habit...that we do not try to pull ourselves out of our daily routine and habits...before you know it life has passed us by and I for one do not want to look back on my life and only see regrets for I have already accomplished so much. I want to find peace.

Life

I need to buy a home. I am tired of apt. living and I have my student loans looming over my head. As I told my daughter, DO NOT make the same mistake I did and take out loans. TOO easy when you begin your life. I wish I had better guidance as I grew up. But at least my kid will learn from her mother's mistakes because now I could have owned a home and our quality of life would have been much better than what it is now. I am just depressed that things are not turning out the way I thought they would. When I was 18 years old and still had my whole life ahead of me I never dreamt I would be in the situation I am in now.

Credit is also Sooooooo damn important in this society. I stress to my kid how important it is to always pay your bills on time and to not take out any loans unless it is to get a house. I wish I could turn back the clock and change things. I wish that I had made wiser decisions in my youth in so many many areas. Hindsight is priceless!

The Outdoors

I grew up in the country--so I try not to take the outdoors for granted. Unlike some women, I do love camping and boating. Just not hunting or fishing. I love the stillness, the perfume of flowers and pine...the chirping of the birds, scurrying on animals.

When I took my mom and daughter to the gardens it was nice. I felt at peace. All the wonderful colors of nature. So extraordinary. Nothing can compare to God's beauty.

I wish that people would take better care of this wonderful planet of ours. I think we all, even me, can take things for granted here. I wish that there was someway to convey to the human race the sanctity of our world...how precious it is and that there is only one of it. I can see global warming everywhere with our winters becoming more scarce, the polar caps melting, the ozone layer becoming thinner. I found this info on global warming and feel that people need to take this more seriously and preserve what God gave us in trust:

http://www.climatecrisis.net/

I think that big corporations look more to profit than the future of our children. Why?? Just look at what these corporations have done in regards to plant resources, finding the bottom dollar. American, Chinese, Japanese, Middle Eastern, all these countries should be held accountable for the way that they disregard our most precious resource. Being resourceful also begins at home. Do not use the a/c if you really do not need it. Use a fan instead. Conserve your electricity. Try to make all your runs for the store etc...in one fell swope. Recycle, recycle, recycle....

Missouri Botanical Gardens

Today I took my mom and jet-lagged daughter to see the gardens. Today it was free for Missouri residents. We had a great time..no fantastic time. I always wanted to bring mom here since she has always had an obsession with plants and flowers. She would be the one person I know who would appreciate this place. Jessy and I took tons of pictures and will be using them in this blog. I have found fantastic ideas for artwork regarding photography through the various blogs I have read. I hope to contribute more info on my own daily rants.

Luckily, it wasn't the usual Midwestern humidity that makes you want to run into the very first air conditioning building. It became hot later on. Mom really loved the climatron which is like a tropical rainforest blooming year round. I really digged the statues and Jessy had a grand time taking pictures of the various flora.

The usual cost for Missouri residents is $4.00 and $8.00 for non-residents. Still a steal due to the absolute beauty and expansive spread. Seems like every time I visit there always is a wedding going on (this time I saw 3 setting up).

Highly recommend anyone interested in visiting some place like this on a budget...St. Louis has a lot to offer as far as reasonable entertainment.

My daughter is home from Japan!!!

I am sooooooooo happy to have her back. When I saw her I just hugged & smelled her (Well........I AM a mom)...& man...almost cried having her back. I had to almost pinch myself knowing my kid had returned. Yeah, yeah...so sue me...You know I am after all half Latina....

I just missed her soooo much. I know I will eventually have to let her go but at the moment it seems this little bird is teetering on the edge of her nest. However, mom will always be here to support her and cherish her all the days of her life.

I always support kids exploring cultures outside of their own. It helps to broaden one's horizons...makes you appreciate your own sense of self...your country...I am glad my daughter was able to have this opportunity to discover who and what she is outside of myself (this was her first trip away from family)...and to see the world. Things like this are priceless.

Animals

I love having cats. They are very low maintenance. I bought Simba at two months and he already knew how to use the litter box. At his size he was able to take on Luna which was quite surprising. Of course Luna was pissed at the thought of this little guy taking over her territory. She is VERY possessive about her surroundings. I remember the day I brought my little guy home, she hissed so hard she actually snorted. But eventually they got along.

Of course once in a while they fight. Luna doesn't like to play to the same extent as Simba does. Feels like I am watching an episode of National Geographic in the Serengeti. Himmys are well-known to retain their adorable kitten behavior well into adulthood and GOD!! He loves to play with her and my daughter. Now that my kid is returning from Japan today he will be so ecstatic to have his little playmate back. I am happy for him.

Omani Blogs

I love reading blogs from overseas, especially the Middle East since I have been fascinated with the culture there for like 4ever.

I do especially enjoy reading blog from Middle Eastern women to get their perspective on their life there. I know that in the West a lot of men and women think these Middle Eastern counterparts live unhappy repressed lives, maybe some but not all. Everything is relative and when I was in Oman I did not see the women as being repressed. They cover due to religion, partly I think also due to culture but for the most part they all looked very stylish in their abayas and hijab. I felt out of place with my head uncovered. I was not pressured to wear the veil like some people would think. I also felt very safe while in Oman and recommend it as a beautiful place to visit but do so in the winter months when it is less humid and hot.

Eating Healthy

In this day and age watching what we put in our mouths is becoming so imperative. Additives in our foods, our drinks, makes me wonder what we are dumping into our bodies. I am not one who would ever go straight veggie but I keep wondering what is
healthy to eat---at least where I would not feel like I am giving up
on all my yummies. I love sugar. GOD....I love chocolate--mmmm....
Certain foods feel like a festive flavour in my mouth whereupon I wish
the sensation would last forever. Better than sex....certain foods are just too good to pass up or let go. But I need to eat right and exercise.

Obesity runs in my family, both sides...so does heart disease, diabetes,
and high blood pressure. Forerunners for sure for a not so good quality of life.

Exercise

I do not like to exercise but realize I have to. Especially now at 38 years of age & 40 staring me in the face I need to keep up to date on my health and looking good. I want to look good for me, not for a man, not for anyone, just me. I think American society has placed so much pressure on young girls and women to just look good that they go to extremes to look healthy and beautiful. I think that 40 is the new 30 because we ladies are living longer. In addition, I do have good genes on my mother's Puerto Rican side for longevity. I hope to live to be 100. I just do not want to look or feel like a walking corpse to get there.

I bought my bike helment yesterday from Walmart, just under $8.00. Not a bad deal. There is a wonderful trail, Grant's Trail, (btw runs 8 miles) by my home that I plan on using. Every day I see families riding. In Missouri, especially Webster Groves, we have to wear a bike helmet so I relented an bought one. Indiana does not require it, interesting how each state is different with its own set of rules.

Website: http://www.bikegrantstrail.com/

Anyway, I hope to get my bike in August. I look fwd to feeling free like a bird again.

Himalayans and Persians

I found these websites on these cats and one on teacup persians/himalayans. I about died when I saw the cuteness of these little guys and hope to buy one down the road. Pricey but worth it. Too adorable. I am in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


http://www.nemr.net/~poppy1/welcom.htm
http://www.nemr.net/~poppy1/hugger.htm

Scott Air Force Base Air Show

The military has and always be close to my heart. I visited Scott Air Force Base in Illinois, about a half hour drive, to ck out the hardware there. Was totally awesome. Here I am standing in front of the B-2 Bomber. Looks like a spaceship. Worth millions of dollars.

Here are some stats on it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-2_Spirit

I was totally awed by the symmetry of this aircraft and reminded me of the possibilities of the human mind when it comes to technology.

I believe in the strength of women and that we have so much to offer the world with our giving hearts and souls. Found this website which is awesome!

http://www.wosib.org/index2.php

Strength of Women

I believe women are emotionally strong despite what the media might portray us as weak minded only concerned with our outward appearance. I found this website which is awesome!

http://www.wosib.org/index2.php

Spirits

I bought an Ouija when I was stationed over in Texas well over 19 years ago, back in 1988. I was messing around with it in the barracks at Ft. Hood, where I was stationed, and we were asking a variety of questions. I can swear to you we channeled the spirit of a boy (who was burned alive). Later, we then started asking about the devil and the lights actually flickered. The plastic device we used flicked out of our hands (honest) and across the room...............Now, I was with Army personnel and they got spooked. I took it home and was messing with it that same night. Not a good thing to do alone.

I felt this weird sensation come over me. I immediately took the board outside and I remember I had the door hooked to this thing on the outside of the trailer (it was a hot Texas night). Jessy was in her room asleep.

I broke the board across my knee & threw it straight into the dumpster. As soon as I did that the door slammed shut and mind you there was no breeze at all. I ran inside to ck on my kid and she was fine but the weird feeling I had disappeared when I threw away the board.

The American Dream Program

I am a single mom also a veteran and Hispanic. I want to aquire my own home, have a safe haven so to speak. Something I can decorate to suit my tastes. I am doing research in trying to make this dream come true and for those interested found this article:

St. Louis, MO – U.S. Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson and Mayor Francis G. Slay announced that affordable new homes will rise in St. Louis thanks to a new $15 million public-private venture launched by a collaboration of housing industry leaders. Freddie Mac (NYSE:FRE), U.S. Bank, Pulaski Financial Corporation, Mary "One" Enterprises/ Mary "One" Home Team Realty, Beyond Housing/Neighborhood Housing Services of St. Louis, Mother's Way/Opportunities Industrialization Centers of the Midwest forged an alliance to create an innovative approach to homeownership called Catch the Dream St. Louis.

Catch the Dream St. Louis is designed to expand affordable homeownership opportunities in the St. Louis area, especially for moderate-income and minority families. The new initiative will provide access to special low-downpayment mortgages with flexible credit terms, proven homeownership education and counseling programs, and HUD funds earmarked for helping qualified borrowers with downpayments and closing costs.

"Freddie Mac plays an important role in helping families realize their dreams of homeownership," said Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson. "We look forward to Freddie Mac's continued emphasis on making affordable housing available to the underserved persons in our nation – those who have been shut out of homeownership in the past."

"All families deserve access to decent, safe and affordable housing," said Senator Kit Bond, Chairman of the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee that funds the Department of Housing and Urban Development. "It will be exciting to watch this new partnership in St. Louis transform the lives of so many families. I will continue to work to find innovative ways to expand the dream of home ownership to more families in Missouri and nationwide."
http://www.freddiemac.com/news/archives/afford_housing/2004/catchthedreamstlouis_060404.html

Personality test

I decided to take a second one just to compare and came up with simliar results:

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Traveling

I hope this year to explore more of the USA or return to Puerto Rico to visit family. I would love to still see Italy, Egypt, parts of the Mediterranean, just so many many places. Man, if I was able to work for some place like National Geographic, would be so awesome! At 38 I need to realize that life yes, still much to it but I am not getting any younger. I need to save money and figure out where I want to go and just enjoy this planet!!

Sisters

I always thought how lucky I was to have a little sister. She is about 7 years younger than I am. She is just starting on her 30's and I am almost on the brink of 40. (WOW time does fly!!!)

I remembered when mom was pregnant, like it was yesterday, on how I desperately wanted another brother and yes I was jealous (after all, I was the only princess in the house). And then when mom brought home a sister I was reserved. But the little stinker grew on me. One of our first nights together in the new home, my sister was crying in her bassinet. I went to investigate at 7 years of age (had the mommy instincts early) and laid down on the couch beside her. Mom found us in the morning with my arm in the bassinet both of us asleep.

We used to play house together, I set up our bedroom like a school and would create worksheets for her and the pretend "students" which were our toys. Her favorite toy, Ricky Ticky Tabby was an A++ student. I usually called on him for the answers while my sister desperately had her hand in the air wanting to call out the answer. Those were good times.

I never knew how lucky I was to have a little sister until I left for the Army and I had taken for granted the relationship I developed with her. Now that we are living far apart I realize that the bond between sisters should always be there, strong and unconditional. A love that grows and lasts a lifetime.

The Essence of Family

I remember Puerto Rico as this island Paradise where I could roam as a child safe from harm, always had a huge family to go back to, play with, learn from. I took for granted visiting this little island in the Caribbean. Now that I am older I realize how much I miss going there. Finding the time to go and the $$$$ seems more difficult now then before. I feel guilty not being able to see my grandmother and I wish I could just fly down there and say hello, bendicion. How are things? Many things go through one's mind as we get older what we should do, what is proper. I missed out on so much of my family there. Sometimes I feel like a stranger. Not really a part of that central unit. I should have made a better effort at making time to go down there before it becomes too late.

Luna

Luna was my first cat. She is now five years old. A grumpy old lady. Simba who is two, is still in the playful kitten stage and thinks that my old gal loves to play but she does not. I will see them running through my place like wild cats of the Serengeti and then the growls, spitting and hissing come forth and then I feel like I am watching an episode of National Geographic. I think Simba has not got it through his hyper little head yet that Luna does not like to play. He has come crying to me on more than one occasion when the playfulness has not gone his way. Ah well....at least they keep things lively on the home front.

Isla

I love this website. If you have time ck it out for some great Caribbean buys!

IslaOnline.com

Gandhi

Gandhi is an inspiration to me. I admire his teaching and his philosophies. Here are some links to his life.

(taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi)

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (Gujarati: મોહનદાસ કરમચંદ ગાંધી, Hindi: मोहनदास करमचंद गांधी, IAST: mohandās karamcand gāndhī, IPA: was a major political and spiritual leader of India and the Indian independence movement. He was the pioneer of Satyagraha — the resistance of tyranny through mass civil disobedience, firmly founded upon ahimsa or total non-violence — which led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. Gandhi is commonly known in India and across the world as Mahatma Gandhi (Sanskrit: महात्मा mahātmā — "Great Soul") and as Bapu (Gujarati: બાપુ bāpu — "Father"). In India, he is recognized as the Father of the Nation and October 2nd, his birthday, is commemorated each year as Gandhi Jayanti, a national holiday. On 15 June 2007, the United Nations General Assembly unanimously adopted a resolution declaring October 2 to be the "International Day of Non-Violence."

Links:

http://www.mkgandhi.org/

http://www.kamat.com/mmgandhi/gandhi.htm

QUOTES

• 
  Peace will not come out of a clash of arms but out of justice lived and done by unarmed nations in the face of odds.Democracy and violence can ill go together.




• Evolution of democracy is not possible if we are not prepared to hear the other side.
  


• A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.Hatred ever kills, love never dies; such is the vast difference between the two. What is obtained by love is retained for all time. What is obtained by hatred proves a burden in reality for it increases hatred.
  Non-cooperation with evil is a sacred duty.


• 
  Nonviolence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man


• 
  The weak can never forgive.Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

The Art of Living

A friend of mine gave me this website and thought I would post it. I believe that life is a spiritual and yes a physical journey:

He gave me the name of this individual: Sri Sri Ravi Shanker

http://www.artofliving.org/

My Travels

I have been visiting other countries since I was in diapers. My mom introduced me to the Puerto Rican culture when I was almost two years old and since then I have had this insatiable appetite to see the world. Here is my virtual tour website you can review just to take a gander of where I have been:

http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/2d87f/

My novel

I love writing. Have been since I was like 13 years of age. Sometimes I will just scribble my thoughts down with no regard to syntax, grammer or flow of thought. Laziness I guess. Here is a book I had published. currently avaialble on amazon.com:

Book Description

We hear about the heroic feats of brave men in battle and of many others who have given their lives in the name of freedom and justified means. Truly how glorious are the struggles, how romantic are the tears befalling a woman when she learns of her husband or loved one slain in battle? How true to the hero's spirit does this speak for our brethren who lay, eyes unseeing, on these bloodied and hallowed grounds? Voices seeks to welcome and remember the memories of such heroes who have fallen. And finally, Voices embraces the sovereignty of the human spirit and mind-in slavery and in freedom. Voices in the Wilderness: The Romance of War, is an engrossing love story set within the spectacular hills of the Shenandoah Valley. This is the story of Rachel McRae, her family and friends as they face a wide range of challenges during the American Civil War and the Underground Railroad. Filled with lessons on morality and faith, Voices is a testament of humanity and courage during mankind's darkest moments. The novel faithfully upholds the principles of the day, while also tackling the issues of love and friendship.

Camels

Camels have always played an important role in Middle Eastern history with their resilience to the heat and ability to survive with limited amounts of water. Now the camels you see here are ones I viewed in Oman. There were about five of them, all female and when they saw me I swear to God that they came running in their pen to greet me. One even smiled and gave me two kisses. She smelled like sweet hay. I will always remember their trust in me and how enthusiastic they were to greet this Midwestern gal. I took a picture of these two and you can tell how sweet they are.

I was really impressed with the topography in Oman and the diversity of its landscape. Some people might think of the Middle East as being arid, dry and all desert but this is just not so. Yes, it seems that Eastern Oman is arid and dry but if you go South like towards Salalah, it lush and green. I hope one day to return. I did go hiking at Green Mountain. Here is a link:

http://www.nizwa.net/env/jabalakhdarplant/jabalplant.html

I found the area quite beautiful and just simply gorgeous!!

Puerto Rican Food

I love love love most PR foods. Some people think that Puerto Rican food is like Mexican, however it is not! PR food is less spicey (think hot spicey). We tend to eat more fruits, veggies and fish. Here is a website that contains a listing of Goya products great for fixing up a PR meal and links to other ethnic foodstuffs:

http://store.amigofoods.com/goyaproducts.html

Omanforum-A link to the Middle East

I have been a member of this site since 2004. My username is Marianna.

I love reading about other cultures and opinions. Sometimes it can become a tad heated (esp. when dealing with sensitive issues) but all in all, this is almost like an online family and I recommend checking it out some time:

http://www.omanforum.com/

All in all, omanforum helped me through some tough times. Man, sometimes I can get downright mad at some of the narrow minded comments against Westerners but thankfully not everyone who is a member is like that. There are those who are members that thankfully have some good sense and realize that people are individuals and that people will do things well........BECAUSE they are individuals!! I wish there was less stereotyping in this world, even in my own country but alas, there will always be those men and women who are afraid of the unknown and will be more comfortable remaining with their narrow views then trying to explore and make new friends with those individuals different than themselves. We have so much to learn!

Being Puerto Rican

I grew up on the brink of two worlds: The majority of being Caucasian and the minority of being Hispanic. My mother is Puerto Rican while my dad is of Irish descent. He met my mother while in the Navy. I had to face racism very early. Was hard. I sometimes did not know which world I belonged to and had to fight to be accepted into mainstream society for being what some of my high school classmates dubbed me as: a "halfbreed". With the world changing and mixed families being quite common I wonder about these very same high school hooligans who used to poke fun at my rich heritage. I have never attended any of my high school reunions due to still be sensitive over the bigotry I faced as a teen. As an adult I realized I should never let anyone have that kind of perverse power over me. I am proud to be Latina, I am proud to be White. I have the best of both worlds and embrace them both.

Poetry

I am always amazed at the wonder of the written word. How it can convey thoughts, ideas, beauty, invoke emotions ranging from love, hate, intrigue, sadness, joy. I have attached a website here with some inspirational poetry:

http://judithpordon.tripod.com/poetry/id82.html