The Five Year Itch

I think that it takes two to tango per se. WHY IS IT THAT A WOMAN WORKING OUTSIDE OF THE HOME IS TO BLAME??????????????????????????

Men and NOT JUST women should be blamed for this issue. I think also today's marriages fail because the couples are not willing to really dig in and take care of pertinent issues regarding their commitment. They want a quick fix but some times it can take longer than say a conversation............to solve whatever issue is going on. I believe in couple therapy and also dating your partner even AFTER marriage. Marriage takes WORK....is not always fun. It means being there through the good times and bad. WHY do men and women think that their problems can be solved in the span of a sitcom "hour?" Marriage is a partnership not always laying blame like some two year old child!!!!!!!!!


LONDON — Been married for five years? Then watch out. A new study has found that married couples are at their greatest risk of divorcing just before their fifth anniversary.
The study, from researchers at the renowned Max Planck Institute in Germany, suggests that couples grow bored with each other far sooner than in the 1950s, when the dangerous time known as "the seven-year itch" inspired a movie starring Marilyn Monroe.

These days, women in particular are more likely to pursue careers and to become disenchanted with married life much earlier than they used to. (Hmmm...what about the men?????????????????????? Are they not to be held partly accountable???)

The findings emerged in a study of divorce trends in the United States, Russia and the Scandinavian countries.

But there is a bit of good news. Couples who do manage to make it to the five-year mark, and who go on to survive 10 years together, are more likely to stay together for the long haul.
"The crisis point for the modern marriage is arriving sooner," said Aiva Jasilioniene, who helped conduct the study.

She said the early years of marriage can be tough because they are often characterized by challenging experiences involving the building of careers and the bearing of children.
Jasilioniene also found that after the five-year point, couples are increasingly deterred from separating by the cost of divorce and of managing separate lives.

Anastasia de Waal, head of family and education issues at Civitas, a research organization in London, agreed that married people are definitely becoming "itchier" earlier these days.
"The main reason seems to be increased expectations of both relationships and what a happy marriage should be like," she said. "In a climate of media-enhanced instant gratification, the stakes have been raised as mere contentedness is no longer enough in a marriage.

"We increasingly expect that more passionate element to continue indefinitely," she said.
Norman Wells, director of the Family Education Trust, a London group that researches causes of family breakdown, said, "No-fault divorce laws make it easier for spouses to walk out on each other when problems arise."

I agree with what this woman says:

The rates of infidelity for women are approaching those of men because women are working outside the home. Women's infidelity is not worse than men's, so it's infidelity in both men and women that is the problem, not women's infidelity. Next, the problems with the marriage that are more about the relationship and shared duties, well, I have a hard time placing the blame on women for those. These problems are mainly because the men in these relationship fail to step up - they still want to be coddled, and the center of attention, and be met at the door with a drink.

Marriage is hard. You are going to have to compromise. And your wife is not your mother. Not that you should take your mother for granted, but no one will ever care for you the way your mother did. Don't expect that. Be aware of how wonderful your wife is, because she will be out in the real world meeting men who are interesting and attractive and treat her with respect, so you'd better do the same. If you don't help with the housework she will get frustrated and you won't have sex and you will have an affair, or she will be stressed and it will be bad for your relationship. I'm writing this in simple sentences, because if you need this advice you are obviously simple."

http://www.ajc.com/living/content/living/stories/2007/10/30/itch_1031.html

http://cara.typepad.com/reproductive_rights_blog/2006/08/working_women_d.html