Dealing with an elderly parent

My dad is 64 and mom is 68. Mom's health is not bad but my dad's....well....leaves a lot to be desired. He is diabetic, insulin dependent and also suffers from heart failure. He was a chronic smoker from the time he was 14 until he HAD to quit at 62. He has had approximately four heart attacks and a minor stroke.

I spoke to mom earlier this morning and she said last night dad fell down and could not get back up so she called his sister. He did not want mom to call 911. Yes, he is that stubborn. Stupid or stubborn who knows. He allows himself to get this sick and then expects free medical care. Sorry buddy, the world does not work that way. If he practiced preventative maintenance and ate like he should FOR a diabetic he would not be getting all these infections. I have had it with this stuff. I already told mom that he needs to have a reality check. She is spending her golden years as his nurse which pisses me off BIG time since he does NOT monitor his health like he should.

My mom has high blood pressure yet she manages it quite well because she is diligent at taking her meds. I applaud her for that. Mom however, does not know how to drive so she has to depend on others to assist her when dad gets sick like this. He is still in the hospital as I write this blog.

They live in the country where taxis are not readily available and there is NO bus system out there. All of us kids have told them time and again to move nearer to us (there are just NO job opportunities in Evansville). But dad already said he plans to die in that house.

I told my daughter that she will NEVER have to worry about her mom because if I get to that point where I need constant care I will MAKE MYSELF go to a VA nursing home. I understand parents do grow old but why do they have to make it so difficult???????

LANDLORDS

EITHER YOU LOVE THEM OR YOU HATE THEM. I understand their role in the rental business but do they have to be so rude? My mom is visiting me and my dad brought their dog. They usually leave Lexy, their Scottish Terrier in her crate while visiting. I feel bad over that but Lexy has this bad habit of just pissing & not giving any sort of warning when she has to go. Maybe she gets confused when she is not in her own territory.

Perhaps my landlord attitude pissed me the hell off because it is my mother's birthday (happy 68th!).....and I do not like anything negative on these special days.

Anyhow, mom went to take Lexy out to go "potty" and the landlord sees her, comes up to my mom and asks if she is a resident of the complex. OF COURSE she has to KNOW that mom is not. My landlord can be such a busy body. Anyway, mom says not and the landlord (with a fake smile): "well your dog is not allowed here." I felt bad for mom because she was ready to just go home that day. Mom is very sensitive to things and I told her just to leave in the morning. I have seen dogs come in and out of the complex all the time so if the landlord says ONE WORD to me I WILL mention this because she has to KNOW that there are people who also bring their mutts in, not just my parents. I have had issues with them before, like not giving notice when they come into the apt., overcharging on the rent. I think a complex built in the 70's does not warrant any kind of rental hike. I am praying for the day I own my own home.

Because she made my mother upset it makes me mad. ARGH!

Just one more thing to motivate me to buy my own home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace

When I feel down, as I do today, I try to think about the positive things that have occurred in my life. I know that I am lucky to have earned a great education, I have a stable job, a loving daughter and wonderful family. I think it is healthy to rant at times....to just get things off our chest so to speak. I wish I had the energy to push forward...maybe not the energy per se, but the gumption, the will to press forward with the strength to find a better paying job...buy a home....not be afraid. Sometimes we can find comfort in the same old song and dance routine.

I for one and tired of eating plain crackers for dinner. I am ready for steak. Meaning, that my life has become far to predictable and I need to find my strength and my peace to move fwd and earn my place in society...to find the strength to remove myself from the familiar in order to seek the rewards in life that need more work.

When we become compliant to the habit...that we do not try to pull ourselves out of our daily routine and habits...before you know it life has passed us by and I for one do not want to look back on my life and only see regrets for I have already accomplished so much. I want to find peace.

Life

I need to buy a home. I am tired of apt. living and I have my student loans looming over my head. As I told my daughter, DO NOT make the same mistake I did and take out loans. TOO easy when you begin your life. I wish I had better guidance as I grew up. But at least my kid will learn from her mother's mistakes because now I could have owned a home and our quality of life would have been much better than what it is now. I am just depressed that things are not turning out the way I thought they would. When I was 18 years old and still had my whole life ahead of me I never dreamt I would be in the situation I am in now.

Credit is also Sooooooo damn important in this society. I stress to my kid how important it is to always pay your bills on time and to not take out any loans unless it is to get a house. I wish I could turn back the clock and change things. I wish that I had made wiser decisions in my youth in so many many areas. Hindsight is priceless!

The Outdoors

I grew up in the country--so I try not to take the outdoors for granted. Unlike some women, I do love camping and boating. Just not hunting or fishing. I love the stillness, the perfume of flowers and pine...the chirping of the birds, scurrying on animals.

When I took my mom and daughter to the gardens it was nice. I felt at peace. All the wonderful colors of nature. So extraordinary. Nothing can compare to God's beauty.

I wish that people would take better care of this wonderful planet of ours. I think we all, even me, can take things for granted here. I wish that there was someway to convey to the human race the sanctity of our world...how precious it is and that there is only one of it. I can see global warming everywhere with our winters becoming more scarce, the polar caps melting, the ozone layer becoming thinner. I found this info on global warming and feel that people need to take this more seriously and preserve what God gave us in trust:

http://www.climatecrisis.net/

I think that big corporations look more to profit than the future of our children. Why?? Just look at what these corporations have done in regards to plant resources, finding the bottom dollar. American, Chinese, Japanese, Middle Eastern, all these countries should be held accountable for the way that they disregard our most precious resource. Being resourceful also begins at home. Do not use the a/c if you really do not need it. Use a fan instead. Conserve your electricity. Try to make all your runs for the store etc...in one fell swope. Recycle, recycle, recycle....

Missouri Botanical Gardens

Today I took my mom and jet-lagged daughter to see the gardens. Today it was free for Missouri residents. We had a great time..no fantastic time. I always wanted to bring mom here since she has always had an obsession with plants and flowers. She would be the one person I know who would appreciate this place. Jessy and I took tons of pictures and will be using them in this blog. I have found fantastic ideas for artwork regarding photography through the various blogs I have read. I hope to contribute more info on my own daily rants.

Luckily, it wasn't the usual Midwestern humidity that makes you want to run into the very first air conditioning building. It became hot later on. Mom really loved the climatron which is like a tropical rainforest blooming year round. I really digged the statues and Jessy had a grand time taking pictures of the various flora.

The usual cost for Missouri residents is $4.00 and $8.00 for non-residents. Still a steal due to the absolute beauty and expansive spread. Seems like every time I visit there always is a wedding going on (this time I saw 3 setting up).

Highly recommend anyone interested in visiting some place like this on a budget...St. Louis has a lot to offer as far as reasonable entertainment.

My daughter is home from Japan!!!

I am sooooooooo happy to have her back. When I saw her I just hugged & smelled her (Well........I AM a mom)...& man...almost cried having her back. I had to almost pinch myself knowing my kid had returned. Yeah, yeah...so sue me...You know I am after all half Latina....

I just missed her soooo much. I know I will eventually have to let her go but at the moment it seems this little bird is teetering on the edge of her nest. However, mom will always be here to support her and cherish her all the days of her life.

I always support kids exploring cultures outside of their own. It helps to broaden one's horizons...makes you appreciate your own sense of self...your country...I am glad my daughter was able to have this opportunity to discover who and what she is outside of myself (this was her first trip away from family)...and to see the world. Things like this are priceless.