THE UNIQUE DILEMMAS DATING 21ST CENTURY STYLE

SO WHAT IS 21ST CENTURY DATING???

Well...it isn't easy by any means, especially when you are dealing with some men who seem to be stuck in "my ex was a bitch and now I am mentally screwed up" mode.

Of course not all men are this way...there are also some women out there who suffer from the same mental relapse. It just seems that the older we get the more baggage we have to deal with when it comes to finding that "perfect partner".

Now who IS perfect? I am not. I know that and I know no one else out there is but still it seems by Western society definition of love can be nothing wrong with our potential mate or else we go running off screaming in the other direction. Now, I am not talking about men or women who have serious issues regarding their past. I am talking about average men and women who are good honest people and it seems that no one gives them a break.

I think it behooves any of us on the dating scene to ensure we do not end up with a psycho or with someone who feels that you are the reincarnation of his or her last love....too creepy.

Then you get the guy who thinks all you are out for is his money and he judges you and the dates you go out with based upon what some past women did to him. That leaves you hanging with your mouth open wondering what the hell happened????????????

When you take the risk of finding a date or even love through the Internet well....you ARE taking that risk and you have to be a man or woman about it and trudge forward. Not everyone you meet is going to be your ideal. Some may be losers, some may be despearate or just plain weird but if you presevere and realize that there is someone out there for you I think you will do okay.

Some interesting info I found regarding online dating:

Regardless of what they might tell others, many people are harnessing the Internet to find anything from friendship to marriage. One of the advantages of the web is that it provides access to a large number of different types of people to meet in every geographical location - particularly appealing in our increasingly cluttered lives.

The Internet also provides another crucial advantage over the two most popular methods – you don’t need help from friends. You can access a dating site seven days a week but finding friends to go out with every night could be difficult and going out alone isn’t easy - especially for women. When you factor in the cost as well – one night out in the UK could easily cost more than one month’s subscription to a dating site – it’s easy to see why the web is such a popular option for finding a date.”

WHAT MEN & WOMEN REALLY WANT (OR WHAT THEY SAY THEY WANT!)
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Women are more likely to be looking for friendship or shared interests than men
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Men are more likely to be looking for a long-term relationship, intimate relationship, short term relationship or
marriage than women
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The men in our survey were four times more likely to look for a no strings fling than women
Most popular relationship-types looked for through online dating services

The different reasons why men and women use Internet dating sites highlight an interesting contradiction; whilst men are more likely to be looking for marriage they are also, as the stereotype traditionally suggests, more likely to be looking for something more ‘temporary’ – “short term relationships”, “intimate relationships” and “no strings flings”.

The fact that true love and marriage score poorly compared to the other categories might seem surprising at first but when you consider that dating sites attract a huge variety of people - from divorcees, to silver surfers, to gays and lesbians - then it is easier to understand why marriage becomes a less relevant goal. Internet dating sites are not all about Bridget Jones looking for Mark Darcy.”

HOW TO GET A DATE

Men are most likely to contact someone because they liked their photo
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Women are most likely to contact someone based on their description
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Every factor, except someone’s photo, was more important to women than men – the difference in importance particularly accentuated for job (twice as likely to be important to women than men) and income (2.5 times as likely)
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For men the most appealing feature about Internet dating is the ability to email people they like the look of on a one-to-one basis
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For women the most appealing feature about Internet dating is the pre-screening that provides a list of potential matches based on personal characteristics, interests etc

Top 10 factors for deciding to contact someone from a dating site

74% of respondents said they liked the way someone looked in the photo as a factor in deciding to contact them

Source: The Nielsen//NetRatings Online Dating Survey, UK MegaPanel®, July 2005

Alex Burmaster comments “Our research does seem to reinforce the stereotypical differences between the genders.

In particular, men choose their dates based on looks but women, on the other hand, put far more emphasis on personal characteristics and descriptions. Interestingly, even though 33% of our respondents admitted to lying to some degree on their profile, men are more likely to use a photograph taken in the last 12 months and to tell the 100% truth. Women, shall we say, are more likely to be creative with the truth.”

Burmaster concludes, “Internet dating and personals websites are already attracting over three and a half million people per month in the UK, and our research shows it’s growing at an enormous rate - both DatingDirect.com and Match.com have almost doubled their audience in 12 months. Our research shows that the Internet has already started to revolutionise dating in the 21stcentury - providing such a practical but enjoyable solution to finding anything from friendship to love despite the complexities and requirements of modern life. As more people start dating online there is clearly a huge opportunity - both for the dating sites themselves - and for those logged on Britons looking to find a more fulfilling life online.” 2003-2005 Nielsen//NetRatings